Guilty until proven ….

My co-worker thinks I’m very “African” in the way I make decisions and reflect on life. I pray a little. I do some meditation. I consult my horoscope. It seems a bit odd, but I think it’s the scientist in me, using multiple methods to see if I come back to the same answer each time.

My horoscope for this week made me laugh out loud. Have a read:

Whether or not you’re a Catholic, I recommend a good stiff dose of confession for you. It’s the most effective action you can take to clear out your psychic congestion and prepare the way for an influx of cathartic realizations. So find someone who won’t judge you for your so-called sins, and tell him or her about things you’ve done in the past year that make you feel squeamish or guilty. If there is no such person, confess to a beloved animal, a favorite tree, a passing cloud, or the morning sun.

Let me tell you, being raised as a Filipina-Catholic, I consciously avoid thinking about guilt at all costs. Guilt has had its share of unnecessary space in my life, so I give it a wide berth.

I like to think of guilt as a rough ocean. It has its own swells and dips and power and purpose. But, it’s not something you go and romp in, you know? You don’t say – hmmm … what a beautiful day, let’s go douse myself in some guilt … I appreciate its role, but keep a fair distance from it, knowing the damage it causes through misplaced responsibilities and unnecessary fear.

But, it seemed an interesting exercise, so I tried it.

And, wow, was I ever surprised. I went back to February 2007 and uncovered thirteen things I felt guilty about.
Then, I realized that only two of them were things I could actually work on.
The rest were ridiculous. Laughable. Creating subconscious barriers that are likely holding me back from what I know is right for me …

Try it out sometime … I’d be interested to hear your experiences.

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